How I got here:
Since we are mind, body, soul and spirit, I believe that to be a whole person we need to realize that emotional well-being and spiritual maturity are linked. I have believed that the two are linked as long as I can remember and it is how I have pursued my own journey in life. I came to be a therapist in mid-life after having many different kinds of jobs where I learned skills and received understanding that could only be learned through that particular position. Becoming a therapist is a ‘calling’ for me, something I believe God has led me to do. Throughout the positions that I’ve held over the years, I have learned how to listen. I see how each person has their individual struggle and that people need to come to their own conclusions about who they are and what they are or are not willing to change to become the person they want to be.
How I work:
In the initial interview I assess family of origin, current situation and a whether or not a client desires to incorporate Scripture and prayer into the process. If they do not wish to incorporate faith, we proceed with therapy using the skills and training I have acquired in school and life.
The basis of my work is getting to the client’s core belief about themselves and others. This belief about who they are forms the motivation and often becomes the filter they see the world through. It can also determine how they believe someone else sees them. Sometimes it is emotionally based and sometimes it is a wrong thought pattern. The way I work takes many forms: looking at attachments, which is the way a person learns to bond early in life through relationships in early childhood, together we build an appropriate view of self, changing self-talk into healthy self-talk. Also, I encourage journaling, praying (for those who are so inclined), and I occasionally assign homework.
Many of my clients are anxious and have been scolded or treated harshly within the church body and are wary of using the Bible. For them, I use the framework of Isaiah 42:3 “A bruised reed he will not break, and a smoldering wick he will not snuff out.” to explain that I work gently within a Biblical context if they are willing. Some are excited to incorporate the Bible, yet counseling with me is not a Bible study. That is within the realm of the church the client belongs to. I encourage each client to talk with their pastor about theological issues. I explore any resistance they may have to a theological question which may be rooted in self-esteem issues, anger, or linked to previous abusive situations.
During the time I was getting my MS in Counseling Psychology I heard a lot about Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) ~ it’s ability to get to trauma and anxiety in a different way than talk therapy. This intrigued me, so after I graduated and became an intern, I took the two basic trainings. As we learned the protocols, we practiced on each other and I experienced a sense of release of creativity. In subsequent trainings I’ve experienced a shift that gave me a greater sense of self confidence. Because I want to help my clients experience that I chose to become a Certified EMDR Therapist.
Why I work with anxiety and trauma:
I understand being anxious, it runs in my family. It’s how we’re wired and it’s the environment we’ve created. Questions of “Is this the best? Should you have done something else? Why did you…? Are you sure…” are all conversations that took place out loud and then in my head as I grew up. It’s hard to be sure of much when doubt is the governing philosophy in the family. I know from personal experience how difficult it is to shake it, especially when it seems like it’s wise to doubt so much. We need to have a plan to evaluate our actions and plans, anxiety takes to another level that is unhealthy.
As I worked with people who came in regarding their anxiety, I discovered many also had experienced trauma. The trauma is often at the root of the anxiety and since I believe in getting to the original event it became natural to work with that trauma.
Life outside of work:
I’ve been married for over 45 yrs! My husband supported me through my mid-life transition without complaining. Through the years we’ve adopted shelter dogs which became our four legged children. We curently have a poodle mix (or so we’ve been told) who is anxious from his own first 18 months of life. I’m using my knowledge of people’s trauma with him!
I am a reader! Always have been, I even read the cereal boxes as a kid. I’m not quite that bad now. I also enjoy being outside and on the rare occasions we go to the beach I collect shells, sand, and driftwood to remind me of the day. I’ve been known to bring home other interesting items like colorful rocks and leaves that sometimes make it into my watercolor paintings.