A few weeks ago I heard that Luis Palau the evangelist had died after 3 years of battling lung cancer at the age of 86. The radio station I was listening to then played something that Luis had said. Luis was encouraging Christians to not ask “Why” but to ask “What”. He said when you get cancer you shouldn’t ask the Lord “Why did I get cancer, but ask Him ‘What is it that you have for me to learn? What is it that I can only learn through having cancer?’” It was pretty impactful hearing that knowing that’s probably how he dealt with his disease.
Trials are a part of life
In the Bible 1Peter 4: 12 says “do not be surprised at the fiery ordeal among you which comes upon you for our testing, as though some strange thing were happening to you.” Circumstances that come to us are to prove our faith. This is different from the consequences of our actions. We need not be surprised that we are being tested and strengthened in our faith if we handle it right. Luis’ perspective reminded me of a book that I read a while back “Don’t Waste Your Sorrows” by Paul E. Billheimer. I’ve re-read it and now I’d like to share some nuggets from it. It’s how we can grow well.
The basic premise of the book is that since the law of love is supreme, the purpose of our time here on earth is to get us to love like God; to have agape love because that is what we will need to rule in God’s kingdom. Billheimer speaks of maturity as requiring suffering as well as joy; as much as fruit requires sunshine as well as rain. Having only one kind of season, all sun/joy or all rain/suffering produces bad fruit. Jesus himself was well acquainted with sorrows and grief ( Isa. 53.3). This means we can work through our traumas and suffering and come out the other side better for it, if we have that goal in mind. It won’t happen unless we are deliberate about it.
Aging can make you a better person
At the end of the book Billheimer even uses aging as part of the process to make us more gentle, more thoughtful and considerate, more gracious and sympathetic, less childish and demanding. By the time we’ve reached Palau’s age we will have encountered health issues, financial problems, we will have been disappointed by people and circumstances and we will have disappointed others. All of this is not wasted if we learn and grow from each of our experiences. The goal is to grow and mature, not live with regrets, shame and bitterness.
A verse that I find encouraging and helps me put it all into perspective, is from 1Peter 5:10 “After you have suffered for a little while, the God of all grace, who called you to His eternal glory in Christ, will Himself perfect, confirm, strengthen and establish you.” We just need to cooperate with what He is doing. As a therapist I help Christians work through their traumas, their grief, and their anxiety by working through the events that have been etched into their memories and spirits so that their experiences no longer have a grip on them.
So many people either want to just “move on” as if the pain didn’t matter because it was in the past or they have a hard time getting out of the pain and bitterness. Going back to what Luis Palau said about looking to the “what,” together we work through the whats in your life: what is holding on to you. We explore and implement what will help you work through it and then discover what is next for you.