It’s hard to imagine, but there is such a thing as too much positivity. It sounds weird, doesn’t it? After all, being positive has a powerful way of turning our lives around. However, there comes a time when too much positivity can be extremely toxic. Toxic to ourselves as well as our anxiety.
In order to understand the effects it has on anxiety, let’s first take a look at what toxic positivity is.
Toxic Positivity Explained
There is no hard-set definition for toxic positivity. However, it can generally be defined as excessive optimism towards every event. What’s wrong with that, you might be wondering.
First, it denies and invalidates the emotional experience of being a human. Are feelings of sadness, anger, or anxiety, even, something we want to experience? Certainly not. But are they necessary emotions we need in order to grow as individuals? Unfortunately, yes they are.
Signs of Toxic Positivity
You try to hide your true feelings
You feel guilty for feeling the way you do
The dreaded, “It could always be worse,” as a way to make someone else feel better about their situation. Or, “Look on the bright side,”(Which, by the way, completely invalidates that person and what they are feeling)
Pushing shame on people who aren’t always positive
Having a nonchalant attitude by using phrases such as, “it is what it is.”
How Does Toxic Positivity Affect Anxiety?
When you suffer from anxiety, you are filled with excessive worries. Not only that, but negative, ruminating thoughts often run through your mind. Having a positive, yet toxic, outlook on life can worsen symptoms of anxiety. Not only when you display it towards yourself, but others as well.
Hiding Feelings Actually Makes Anxiety Worse
If you avoid something, it will just magically disappear, right? Unfortunately, that is not the case, especially when it comes to our mental health.
It’s almost second nature for us to avoid what we don’t want to deal with. This can become extremely harmful when we do this with emotions or thoughts. When we suppress feelings of worry, for instance, it doesn’t actually reduce the feeling. We may be ignoring it, on a surface level, but the feeling is still there. What is happening deeper down inside of us is when this can go haywire. As the feelings we avoid are pushed away, they will ruminate inside our minds. This causes our bodies to go into overdrive, which will worsen the feelings of anxiousness we get.
‘Reassuring’ Phrases Aren’t Always Helpful
We mean well when we are trying to comfort someone. We use phrases such as, “look on the bright side,” “It will be fine,” or, “It could always be worse.” The intention behind every one of these is pure, but can sometimes have the wrong effect.
These phrases essentially undermine the experience that this person is going through. They also don’t really help, either. It’s basically saying there is no problem. Or that, your problems, essentially, aren’t that important. The problem isn’t in the phrases, themselves. It’s the implication that what the person is going through, really isn’t a valid experience. Which can make them feel all the worse.
And when you tell yourself accepting phrases such as, “It is what it is,” you may think you are putting a positive spin on it that is helping your anxiety. What you are actually doing is saying, “there’s nothing I can do about this situation, so why bother.”
And by not thinking critically about how you could change or help the anxiousness you are feeling, you’re sending the signal to your brain that it’s acceptable for you to feel this way. Which does nothing to lessen the anxiety. To
Almost everyone wants to have a positive attitude towards life. And you definitely should, as it can help tremendously with your mental health. However, there comes a time when too much positivity can be toxic to your mental health. It invalidates your experiences and emotions, pushing them aside. If you need help to learn how to avoid toxic positivity and live a life free from anxiety, reach out today, or to learn more about my approach to Anxiety Treatment on my website, click here.