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Obviously, “sensitive” is often in the eye of the beholder. Everyone has times when they feel more susceptible to the temperature, noise, textures, and general vibrations in their environment. This is frustrating but normal. Almost always, it passes rather quickly. However, the existence of a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) is also a psychological concept.
From the outside, it can appear confusing to watch someone stay in an abusive situation. It could be their family, spouse, job, etc. Whatever the specifics, you may wonder “why they stay.” As you probably imagine, it’s a lot more complicated than that. A major component of this dynamic is trauma bonding.
It’s quite normal to need an adjustment period after a relationship ends. The passage of time along with some healthy support from friends and family might do the job. However, there are instances when a past relationship can weigh you down with toxic baggage. In fact, it can result in a version of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).
While most folks are talking about resolutions, you may find yourself stuck. How can you focus on the new year when parts of the old year seem to still have their claws in you? Anxiety has a way of blocking the path forward. It wants to keep you mired in the past — ruminating and obsessing. There’s no shame in this scenario. But there’s plenty of joy to be found in letting it go.
Breaking news: You do not have to replay and relive the past. In addition, you can reduce worrying and live in the reality you desire this new year.
Anxiety is a convincing liar. It will highjack your inner voice and turn it into your inner critic. That critic will tell you lies like:
You can’t get over past mistakes (or perceived mistakes)
The future is dangerous and risky
You’re not ready to grow and mature
What happened last year matters more than you realize
More breaking news: You can talk back to that inner critic. This life-altering process begins once you identify it as an offshoot of anxiety. It doesn’t mean you harm. On the contrary, your anxious inner critic believes it is protecting you. But it’s not a true voice.
Your truest voice can be heard when you practice self-care and offer yourself appropriate positive affirmations. This is not about practicing denial. The counter to anxiety is balance. Talk to yourself with a nuanced perspective and trust yourself more. Stop fixating on past events because you can reframe them this new year — and beyond!
Negative episodes are inevitable but they have the power to build resiliency. You endure them. In some cases, you suffer through them. But you also recover from them. You come out on the other side wiser and stronger. Errors and screw-ups can often be very useful motivational tools.
When a sculptor works with a hunk of clay, they do a fair amount of molding. They also hack away anything that doesn’t save a great purpose. As you assess the old year, you have the opportunity to see your mistakes and down periods as a lesson. They show you what you want to hack away or at least, mold into a new shape. What a gift!
Every time one of us fails or disappoints, it is a reminder of our humanness. It is crucial to carry this humanness with us. Our mistakes don’t have to define us. Every person we know has the same ups and downs. There is no logical reason to let anxiety or an inner critic try to convince you that you are uniquely flawed.
In addition, what we don’t like about the old year can guide us to a place of empathy. We understand that everyone is vulnerable to similar mistakes and mental health issues. This understanding can help ease our burden by feeling more compassion for ourselves and others.
The past is where regret may live. Anxiousness dwells in the future. Fortunately, all of us can only exist here and now — in the present. Mindfulness practice reminds us to embrace the moment and make the most of it. Working with a therapist (see below) is an ideal way to learn mindfulness skills.
If the anxiety of the old year feels overwhelming, you are not alone. I invite you to reach out. Let’s connect. Let’s get you on a path away from anxiety and toward abundance. Or click Anxiety Treatment if you want to read more.
